Tuesday, 19 April 2011

The Chaperone

Saw an advert on TV last night for a film called The Chaperone. It's one of those abysmal* films made by WWE, the wrestling people, where for some bizarre reason they have these big, oiled-up men with small heads 'cutting loose' and showing off their 'softer side'. Plot-wise, 'kooky' is probably the right word to use. Basically you have these coked-up, slippery, bulging, grunting goons grunting and gurning their way through 90 minutes of straight-to-DVD gold. Inevitably there will be a humorous child/mentor angle. The wrestler will try to win back the trust of his estranged wife and kids. The wrestler will sit on a whoopie cushion. Like I said, gold.

So, yeah, this one - The Chaperone - stars a wrestler called Triple H. (There he is, up there.) Now, here is a man who - and I mean this with the greatest respect - possesses both the screen presence and the charisma of a grizzled testicle. That's right... a grizzled testicle. The most worrying part of all this is that my (otherwise perfect!) girlfriend used to fancy him... and, even worse, I suspect she still does.

* I suppose I should admit that I've never bothered to watch a film made by WWE Studios. I am fairly confident that they are shit though.

(Oh yeah, and the beard is still intact. Still not very convincing though)

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