Friday, 29 October 2010

new job

It was pretty close to midday yesterday that I was entertaining the idea of writing something on here. I'd had an interview for a job on Wednesday, and it felt like it went really well. I felt quite comfortable and relaxed and I left with the impression that the three people on the panel had warmed to me and may even have been mildly impressed. I felt that I was definitely in the running for the job. Anyway, I was told that they were hoping to come to a decision sooner rather than later, and that the successful applicant would likely receive a call later that day with the news. The others would have to wait to receive the bad news in the post a few days later. When it got to about 2:30 in the afternoon I was convinced that it was over. I'd blown it. I was readying myself for the inevitable blow that would come when the letter dropped through my door. It's a feeling I've felt before... and, even when you know that you've got no chance, it still hurts when you see it on the page in front of you.

So, yeah, it's 2:30 and I'm texting Min... They're not going to call, they've given it to someone else! Argh!!! etc. Then it's 3 in the afternoon. Then 4, then 4:30, and then 5 o' clock comes and goes. As does 6. I felt pretty disappointed by it all... it felt like I'd answered pretty much everything well, had been reasonably articulate and thoughtful in my replies, and that I'd generally came across very well. It had seemed like a conversation right from the start, as opposed to an interview. Of course, I didn't leave the room feeling that I had it in the bag or anything, but I felt good about the whole experience, and that's the first time I've ever felt like that immediately after an interview. So I'd wandered around London all day holding my phone in my hand but nothing happened. I sent a message to a colleague saying that I didn't get the job. It felt terrible. Then I'm sitting on the tube with Min in the evening and I see that there's a voicemail on my phone. I'd been pretty feeling dejected at this point... and suddenly I'm alive again... so I dial the number and wait... and I can't hear it properly... so I try to concentrate a bit harder, try to block out the noise around me. My heart is beating like crazy. They've called me!

And then I hear it...

My dad. It was my bloody dad on the message. Heh. His timing is impeccable. Hearing my dad's voice at this moment in time was pretty much the last thing I wanted. I felt a hundred times worse. Not only was the job gone but now I had to start thinking about how to go about telling people that I didn't get it. Always the worst part. I always plan on keeping applications secret to avoid this particular unpleasant pitfall. I'd managed to keep this one under wraps until the last day at work before we broke up for half-term and then I couldn't keep it secret any longer and I had to let a few people know. I don't know why that is... if anything it just piles on the pressure and makes you look like a complete lemon when you fail miserably.

I thought there was still an outside chance that they'd yet to make a decision and might call the successful person on Thursday. I wanted to believe it anyway, but when it got to lunchtime I kind of gave up on this theory. And that's when I started thinking about writing a blog. It's something I tend to want to do at what feel like important little milestones in my life. Not necessarily blogs, but some form of documentation. When I failed my first driving test I recorded an 11-minute discordant take of me working out my frustrations on my guitar with the amp turned incredibly loud. Don't get me wrong though, I wasn't trying to capture how I was feeling using the medium of fretboard wankery like some kind of Eric Clapton numpty... I despise that kind of heinous crap. Nope, I just wanted to hit it and scrape it until the strings snapped and the room shook. It felt great. I mean, it sounds shit... but it definitely felt great.

But anyway, the point of this entry is that, within the space of 10 minutes, I'd gone from wanting to document this absolute all-consuming frustration that I was feeling to suddenly wanting to write one saying how absolutely surprised and elated I am to have received the phonecall offering me the job. Because that's what happened. Oh, and I accepted it. Heh.

Thursday, 21 October 2010

Another (far more) satisfying moral victory over the preposterously named head of IT, Albert Hall, today. The whole staffroom will be invited to share in this success tomorrow, through the medium of biscuits.