Monday, 5 April 2010

Haven't done this in ages. I'm sitting at the dining table, pouring out my soul on the laptop. Dad's on eBay again. He's not listening... he's making all the right noises but I can see he's not taking it in. It's traumatic. There's going to be an argument... hmm, it's probably not the best time and place to be trying to write. In fact I can feel myself drifting into a silent rage already. This could get interesting... I mean, I think I had a rough idea of what I was going to talk about, but anything can happen now. Heh. He's talking about a 40 litre camping fridge. He likes to give a running commentary. If there's one thing I wish he'd never found, it's bloody eBay. You wouldn't believe the amount of stress it has caused round these here parts. He's recently discovered youtube too. Fun times. (Ha!)

Actually I've forgotten what I was going to write about. Maybe there was never any rough idea to begin with anyway... I don't know anymore. No, that's it, I remember now. The doorstop. The bloody doorstop saga... there's been a development in the doorstop saga! Yep, I took the replacement one that appeared in Reprographics shortly after I stole the first. Heh. Wallop. Those bastards won't know what's hit 'em. I now have two stashed in the bottom drawer of my desk, along with the hand of a mannequin, my favourite staple gun (Rapesco Z-13 P, if you're asking...) and The Tyrant.

The Tyrant is a massive bastard of a hammer - a sculptor's hammer - that I found in the storeroom. It's made by a company called Tiranti and, by anybody's reckoning, it is a scary lump of metal. It's the kind of hammer that has one mode and one mode only: Bludgeon. Sure, you can use varying degrees of force, but the end result is always gonna be the same; a big old bludgeoning... just like momma used to make. Heh, always wanted to say that.

Back to eBay... This is horrible. He's almost in tears now. Head has been in hands. Still choosing a category. I can't take it.

Two weeks off now!

Oh yeah, and how could I forget... I've also recently turned 25. How bloody depressing. I'm running out of time now.

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